I like pie!

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A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.

Inside the closet,the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," the man replies.

"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.

"No thanks," the man replies.

"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.

"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he's in.

"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.

"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position. The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.

"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.

"Yes, it is," replies the man.

"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.

"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.

"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed.

The next weekend, the little boy's father says "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."

"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.

"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.

"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.

"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS? That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away. At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

To which the priest exclaims, "Don't you start that $#!+ in here."

 

=) one of my faveys. sorry if it's a bit inappropriate, i don't think it is. 

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=D thank you lots! je te remercie. 

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"You've the head of someone who worth 2000$"

"But you haven't the head of the one who will get it"

 

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/The-Good-the-Bad-and-the-Ugly-Poster-C10286151.jpeg

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"We'll never succeed. We may as well die here. "

"No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too." 

"what about the W.E.C.B.?"

"Warrior Epic Closed Beta? I don't think it exists."

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A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife
in bed with another man.
"Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world." 
"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what
if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with
your wife?" 
The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane
and kick his seeing-eye dog in the hiny." 

hope i get in cb :) 

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"What's all this churning and bubbling?"

 "Thats Mr. Coffee. Would you like a cup?"

"Of course I do, I always have coffee when I watch the radar.  You know that. Everyone knows that"

"Of course we do sir!"

-- Classic Mel Brooks

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no politics yo!

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How to Impress a Woman

Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....

 

How to Impress a Man

Show up naked.
Bring beer.

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Things u say to ur computer but not ur girlfriend:

 should have saved my money for a better model

u turned my floppy into a hard drive

now u wont overheat when i abuse u

The holes in the computer are not ment for anything other then wires.... 

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i Am chuck Norris.

 

ahmmm :P 

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In America you sign up to play video games, In Soviet Russia video games sign up to play you!

~~this is the best i can think of at 7 am...god its early for me lol

 

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 A Dream

In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed,
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream -that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar,
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star.

(Edgar Allan Po 1809-1849)

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i want play this game if is posible ty

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k

How do you know if a train is having a lunch?

 You can hear him chew-chew!

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